NO Soliciting

Published June 14, 2018 by lynn k scott

In today’s age of technology, going door to door offering services should be a thing of the past. Yet, businesses still engage this privacy-violating act on a regular basis.

It’s a fact many people don’t like confrontation and have a more difficult time saying ‘no’ to someone in person than over the phone or on the internet. However, it’s reached a point that those people who are going door to door are ignoring a very basic sign, found on many homes: No Soliciting

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I arrived in California and my first job here was selling products door to door. That was 21-years ago and times have definitely changed. I was actually instructed to ignore the ‘No Soliciting’ signs. Just because someone isn’t selling an exact item, it doesn’t excuse them from being a solicitor. Are they taking up the person’s time? Then, they are soliciting time; if nothing else.

What seems to elude companies that utilize this tactic is there are some very legitimate reasons to respect someone’s privacy; esp. on their own property:

  • Sleep habits – Perhaps someone works evenings, perhaps a child is napping
  • Illness – Having had cancer and know the exhausting effects of chemotherapy. Not everyone wants to answer the door. If they are resting, it’s rude to disrupt them.
  • Animals – Not all animals react well to people knocking on their door or ringing the bell.

I have two dogs. I have notices posted for delivery personnel not to ring the bell. I have another notice as you walk up to the house to STOP; unless you’re a first responder. Everyone who’s invited to my home knows to call or text me when they arrive because I greet them at the door so as to not set my dogs off. That one act is the only reason they fight.

Yesterday, I had to break up a dog fight because someone could’t read (or ignored it).  After I got the dogs separated, I stepped outside, embraced my NY roots and laid into the clipboard-holding person who thought my signage wasn’t legit.  He never got a word in edgewise. I’m sure the entire neighborhood heard me kick him off my porch and I can almost guarantee, he’ll never be back.  It was completely avoidable, but he chose to think he was an exception.

More companies need to realize this is not a legitimate form of sales fundraising, political reasoning, religious outreach, etc. If you insist on using this old-fashioned form of contact, please instill in those in your service that are not to disturb those homes who have clearly noted they are not to be disturbed. You’re intentions may be good, but privacy trumps profit, in this case.

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REBLOG: Vegan and Vegetarian – What’s the Difference? — Smart Diet

Published June 14, 2018 by lynn k scott

Having been a proud veg-head for over a decade, it’s astounding how many people don’t understand the difference between these two words.  I used to be a vegetarian and would get irritated when they removed eggs and cheese from my orders.  I would always have to explain the difference.  I would like to also note, that there is a HUGE honey debate in the vegan world.  I know quite a few vegans who do eat honey.   Some do, some don’t, but it’s not as clean-cut as stated below.  Other than that, there’s good information to share.

 

Many people get confused with the varying terms for dietary choices. “Vegetarian” is often used to denote any diet that does not include meat, but it is actually more complex than that. For example, is fish considered “meat”? What about dairy products? The term “vegan” is somewhat newer, and people often use it interchangeably with…

via Vegan and Vegetarian – What’s the Difference? — Smart Diet

Parenting Styles

Published June 14, 2018 by lynn k scott

I was listening to K-Love, my favorite Christian radio station, on my way to work, when they brought up a new study.  “Experts” are saying that the authoritative parenting style should be replaced with parents who negotiate with their child(ren).

I was relieved to hear callers to the station completely disagreeing.  One caller even said, “parenting is directing children and negotiations are for hostages”.  I thought that was brilliant.  The woman happened to be a school teacher and expressed how she let her students know their future bosses wouldn’t tolerate them wanting to negotiate everything they were told to do.

It’s not surprising the “experts” are spouting this nonsense.  In today’s world, where even the youngest child gets a say, feelings can’t be hurt, high school students dictate what they will and won’t do, and college students are causing chaos, it’s a sign the authoritative parenting style has fallen by the wayside.

While I my tween daughter and I discuss issues as they arise, there are certain instances when she is to do as she is told; when she’s told to do it.  My house isn’t a democracy; I am in charge.  Kids are still learning how to become productive members of society.  they don’t have all the answers to make informed decisions on their own.  I don’t want to get up and go to work everyday, but I do.  I don’t always agree with my boss, but I still complete the assigned work.  When I was in college, I did the assignments that the professors handed out, because they were in charge during class time.

Our job as parents is to show our children right from wrong.  Everything they do is not up for debate.  It’s ok to tell a child “no”.  In fact, they need to hear it.  It’s ok to put limits on who they hang out with, that they have to tell you where they are going, to monitor their schoolwork and to listen to you without backtalk and/or arguing.  Boundaries are important and it’s something that must be instilled in every child or they morph into today’s “entitled” adults.

Don’t get me wrong, the older a child gets, there is room for them to have more discussions with you.  If they have a valid point, that might influence or change your decision, then by all means, do so.  But there comes a point when they just need to accept the fact they need to follow instructions and they will not get their way.

So, excuse me experts, there is nothing wrong with the authoritarian parenting style.  Perhaps if more parents were committed to teaching proper behavior, that not everyone can be a winner and respect for their fellow man/woman, then we wouldn’t have young adults needing safe spaces or acting like a spoiled toddler throwing hissy fits on their college campus because their feelings were hurt because they heard something they didn’t agree with.  Today’s entitled kids are products of a non-authoritarian environment.  I’m not an expert, by an means, but I sure as hell will not have my daughter turning out like the majority of today’s teens and 20-somethings.

 

The past continues to haunt me

Published June 13, 2018 by lynn k scott

I recently found out my son was getting married.  He is the last of my sons to get married.  I found out, because his older brother mentioned it to me. Back to that in a moment.

I haven’t spoke much about my past (on this topic), but I was married before.  I married at 18-years old and married a VERY abusive man.  I was young and naive.  I don’t regret having four children in my first marriage, but I do regret that he is their father.

I had to literally escape from my ex-husband, in the early morning hours, with only my mother to see off on the Greyhound bus that left NY for CA.  It wasn’t a decision I made lightly, but after two attempts on my life, the joke of legal assistance by NY police and courts, I wasn’t safe.  If I had stayed, my children would have been visiting my grave versus having the option of passing judgement on my decisions and harboring anger toward me.

Long story short, my ex-husband eventually beat a woman he knew, in the face with a brick, over a dispute over $50.00.  The cops failed to do their job.  News staff contaminated the crime scene.  He went to prison on an E-felony instead of a higher charge, which would have kept him behind bars for a longer time.

Needless to say, even 3,000 miles away, I lived my life in fear.  I did attend group counseling for battered women.  At one point, before leaving for CA, I was diagnosed with battered women’s syndrome.  My ex-husband will always be a threat to me.  There is no doubt in my mind.  I haven’t seen him in 21 years and I have no plans to do so.  We only spoke to each other through various court appearances (me appearing by phone).  My children will never know or understand the terror I survived.  While, I have told them I was abused by their father, they don’t have many details or know the extent.  Yet, they still choose him over me.  Simple reason:  I left.

Back to my son getting married.  This son is the one who wants nothing to do with me.  I have been allowed back into my other (adult) children’s lives, in various stages.  I messaged my son and asked for his address to send him a wedding present.  He told me it wasn’t necessary.  I responded that it’s something I wanted to do and I had done the same for his other brothers.

Yesterday, on the anniversary of my sister’s death (one of hardest days of the year) he chose to tell me he didn’t trust me enough with address.  I could give it to his oldest brother to deliver it to him, if I insisted on sending him a gift.

To say I was upset, was an understatement.  Not trust me?  I messaged his brother.  I was expecting some support.  I thought my oldest and I had made a lot of progress.  I was severely mistaken.  He told me he doesn’t accept the choices I made but was trying to understand them.  Then, he felt like twisting the knife that he just lunged into my back, by saying I was lucky any of my kids wanted to have anything to do with me.

WOW!  I had to shut the conversation down.  All the progress I foolishly thought we had made just flew out the window.  At least now I know where I stand; with those two sons.  I also know where I stand with my daughter.

Part of the reason I had my youngest child was 1) my second husband had no children 2) I needed to prove to myself I wasn’t a horrible parent.  I have done everything in my power to be a good mom.

I can’t change the past and I have been trying to make amends for what I felt was the only decision that could be made.  I find it ironic, a convicted, violent felon, who was the reason I left, is more welcomed in their life than I am.

I can only pray one day they will see the light of how serious my situation was at the time.  That my older children will want a relationship with their youngest sibling.  For now, I am done.  The ball in is in their court.  If they choose to end the game, that’s their decision.

 

The Pledge of Allegiance

Published June 12, 2018 by lynn k scott

My sister used to post the Pledge of Allegiance on her Facebook every day.  After reading a post, from a Canadian no less, commenting on our country, it never ceases to amaze me the ignorance of some people.

I consider myself a conservative and I’m REALLY tired of the liberal agenda we’ve had to endure prior to this last election.  While no president is perfect and will never appease everyone, at least Trump is trying.  He’s not setting race relations back to the 1960s, unlike his predecessor did.  He is upholding current laws, holding people and countries accountable and showing respect to our military.  Don’t like how he presents stuff; too bad.  Sorry…not really…but there is nothing wrong with a direct approach to saying what needs to be said.

Just really tired of seeing people wanting to be placated or having an opinion on something that’s none of their business (*cough* Canada).  Today, is one of two days per year, I don’t tolerate anything and I will say whatever I feel needs saying; filter be damned.

I rarely write political posts, but the older I get, the less I give a shit.  I firmly believe liberalism is a disease and should be treated as such.  I’m about to get a bunch of “hug-me-jackets and rent some padded rooms for those who get all bent out of shape and need their “safe” space.

We need to go back to live and let live.  And while the (many) 20-somethings are finding out who they are, they might want to respect their elders and observe a bit before opening their mouths to speak on topics they really have no clue about. NO life is more important than another.  You get what you work for so stop using excuses as to why you don’t have what you think you should.

Will I lose followers?  Perhaps.  Do I care?  Nope!  I know this post makes me sound like a bitch.   I, however, know, and own, my bitch status.  If you don’t like the U.S., turn off social media (if not in the U.S.) or feel free to leave from any airport or nautical port.  Either way, I’m an American and I’m proud of it!

 

Angelversary: 6 years

Published June 12, 2018 by lynn k scott

Today marks the 6th angelversary of the loss of my younger sister, Kathi.  This blog was created to honor her memory.  It was also created as my therapy to cope with my survivor’s guilt.  It’s hard losing a sibling, especially one that’s younger than you.

Treasure

Even though my eyes still leak from time to time or they turn into a fountain when memories come rushing back, I have finally found acceptance in her death.  A lot has happened in the last few years and I have grown much closer to God.

Missing you

I can’t begin to understand why she was called Home at the tender age of 37.  I don’t know why her children had to grow up without a mother.  Those questions will remain a mystery as I have stopped looking for an answer.  What will be, will be.

I do know life is precious.  It’s easily wasted with arguments, fights and alienation of family and friends.  Be there for those who need you.  Express affection sooner than later.  We need to live for today, because as life has taught me, no one gets an extension when your time is up.

It’s ok to grieve.  It’s ok to take as much time as you need to process a loss.  I will never get over losing my sister.  However, I can remember her spirit and know she will always be watching over me.  I can continue projects she found important.  I can get the Kathi’s Cares Program into non-profit status so I can show other cancer patients they are not alone.  Cancer, in all forms, is a horrible disease.  It’s time to find a cure and let doctors and pharmaceutical companies know our lives are not for profit.  cancer

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