Small trip back in time to the movie release of Jerry Maguire (men shut up and stop groaning). I was recently separated from an awful and dangerous husband when the movie hit the screen. My favorite scene in the movie took place in the elevator. A man had signed to his girlfriend “you complete me”. I thought, “that’s what I want”. To have a man in my life that completes me.
Years later, after a horrible divorce and getting remarried, I was wrong. I thought that’s what I wanted. I grew up thinking women should get married, have kids and have a supportive husband who didn’t mind if she worked too. I guess I watched one too many “Leave it to Beaver” reruns coupled with “The Cosby Show”.
As my youngest is entering pre-teen stage, starting to discover who she is, I often think of this movie. What I am instilling in my daughter, besides strength, independence, a thirst for knowledge and to question every day ideals, is that a man will not make her complete. She will already be a complete person. She will be able to stand on her own two feet.
What a man will do for her is enhance her. He will add to her values. He will demonstrate his love. He will treat her as an equal. He will support her dreams and take her on adventures. That is what I have told my friends who were a bit (man) distraught; that is what I will tell my daughter. Perhaps in our signing classes, I will teach her to sign, “You enhance me”. I like the message that phrase sends.