My Inner Compass is Broken

Published April 10, 2015 by lynn k scott

I am the first to admit I am directionally challenged.  My inner compass, sense of direction, whatever your favorite euphemism is, mine is broken, doesn’t work, or in other words, I get lost; easily!

Yesterday, my coworker and I were talking about how to get to stores and such via the backroads instead of getting on the freeway.  I knew how to get to the Walmart area.  I actually needed to go to the bank, which was close to a grocery store. She told me, just go turn on Vaughn St. and instead of turning to go to Walmart, go straight and you’ll get to the bank.

How simple was that?

Yet, we forgot one simple factor:  I was driving.  I take off after work, I’m going to the bank via the backroads.  I see Vaughn St. and make a mental note; that’s how you get to Walmart, but I’m going straight.  I continue driving.  I am seeing LOTS of country.  Farms to the left of me and farms to the right.

After about 10 minutes of going straight, I being to get suspicious.  I pull over, whip out the cell phone, search for the store, as it will bring me near the bank, and start my GPS.  Well, I’m NO WHERE near where I need to be.  Uggh! I’m going to shoot my coworker for giving me the wrong directions.  About half-way back to where I needed to be, I realized, OOOOOOOH!  I needed to turn on Vaughn St!  *&^%!!!

Meanwhile, the clock in the car reminds me, I need to pick up my daughter in 10 minutes and I’ve yet to leave the blasted town I work in because I’ve apparently devised my own personal tour of the countryside!  I pull over; again.  I remap my sitter’s location and say I’ll hit the bank in the morning.  Who needs gas, right?

My directions take me another five miles this way, left on this road and voila; I’m back where I was 10 minutes ago, just making a left instead of a right.  *Insert time to bang head on steering wheel.*  I was beginning to feel like I was a sort of pen, the road was the paper and together we were a spirograph.

Note:  GPS and the country don’t mix. It can’t redirect you by having you turn around because the blasted roads are miles apart.  Silly me realized this too late.  I could have flipped a U-ey, after I reset my directions, but didn’t realize I needed to go back 500 feet in the opposite direction.  Next GPS upgrade should tell you, “turn around at So-n-So Ranch”.  I only passed a dozen of them and found a dog kennel too.

I continued my journey on the backroads and following my GPS’ directions and I’m now in the next city…phew!  I’m still in the country, but progress is being made.  The road I was currently on was to be followed for six miles.  As we near the end of this current direction, my GPS told me to go straight.  It was then I realized where I was.

I was just a mere five minutes from my sitter’s house.  I was coming the opposite direction of the route I’ve taken to work, that leads toward the freeway, by making a simple left, countless times.  I uttered a few more expletives upon learning my location. Good news is I now can get to work, via the country, should the freeways ever get jammed up.

As it was, I was 10 minutes late picking up my baby.  She opened the door when I got there.  She was so understanding. The first thing she said was, “you’re late”. Did I mention she’s 9 years old and the sweetest child at any given time?  No wait…I said she was 9, that’s a lovely age where exercising independence with parental units starts.

Surprisingly, I have actually driven solo, cross-country, twice and didn’t have GPS or this much difficulty.

I relay this story to my coworker, who apparently had been in front of me yesterday and watched me forget to turn, told me I was some kind of special in regards to direction. I laughed because she was right.

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