“Every human being must find his own way to cope with severe loss, and the only job of a true friend is to facilitate whatever method he chooses.” (Caleb Carr)
“Surround yourself with the right people, and realize your own worth. Honestly, there are enough bad people out there in the world – you don’t need to be your own worst enemy.” (Lucy Hale)
“The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering.” (Bruce Lee)
Today is a day of remembrance (for me anyway)
1) 3 years ago today was Father’s Day. It was the day we had Kathi’s funeral.
2) 22 years ago today, my neighbor (he was my age) was killed because a truck didn’t see his motorcycle. It happened to be my 3rd wedding anniversary. He was the closest person I had to a brother. As he died at 21 years old, he would become one of my sons namesakes. R.I.P. Brian.
3) 25 years ago, I didn’t realize I was marrying Satan’s spawn (1st marriage). I wish hell would reclaim its heir and leave me the hell alone! (If you knew my story, you’d understand this one better).
“A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life.” (Isadora James)
Today marks the third anniversary of my sister losing her breast cancer battle. I apologize for not keeping up the blog. This week has been a bit intense. I have been consumed with canning and preparing fresh meals.
I realized yesterday, I deal with Kathi’s passing differently as the years go by. The first year, I just cried. I kept reading old emails and texts from her. Last year I remembered her through the music she enjoyed. This year, it was canning and cooking. I’ve only been canning a little over three years now. One of the last conversations Kathi and I had, before the cancer took a turn for the worse, was how she was going to start canning in the summer. I had sent some of the apple butter, I had canned, back home. She never made it to summer.
This week, I have been obsessed with canning and preparing everything fresh. Not sure why it didn’t hit me before last night. I rarely can during the week. Sometimes, I will process a batch of vegetable stock on a Monday. I’ve made and canned apricot jam and vegetable stock this week. Last night I cooked black beans and made a mayo-free coleslaw.
I have purchased potatoes, jalapeno and serrano peppers and blueberries. I will be making potato salad and some jelly and preserves before the weekend is out. It’s almost a compulsion to get these things accomplished. I now know it’s me keeping busy. I know it’s how I’m coping.
Just long for the day I don’t have survivor’s guilt that I outlived my younger sister. I long for the day where the sadness isn’t all consuming. I know there’s no limit on grief. I know it gets a little easier as time passes. I know my life has been profoundly changed with her passing.
As today is my sister’s angelversary, I’m attaching my team Relay for Life link. Together we can end cancer. Together we can stop cancer so there are no more angelversaries because of this horrible disease.
Follow us on Facebook: Team – I’m Going To Love You Through It
Today marks one week until my sister’s third angel-versary of losing her breast cancer battle. One thing, of many, that I will always remind me of my sister, is her love of the United States of America.
After listening to Madison Rising’s version of the “Star Spangled Banner”, another video about the our National Anthem started playing. I continued to listen to it because I liked the way it was presented. I liked it so much, I will incorporate it into my daughter’s history lesson next year.
While I realize there are few inaccuracies in this story, it gives the general idea of how the song came to be. It symbolized an important time in American history. Strangely, it provided comfort. It reminded me of Kathi and her patriotic spirit.
The video is just under 12 minutes long. Enjoy the story and our history. Remember, the next time you hear our National Anthem, please stop what you are doing, remove your hat, stand, place your hand over your heart and remain silent until the song is completed.
I for one, am proud to be an American.