The last few days I have been recovering from a Celiac attack. Nope, I didn’t even eat anything I wasn’t supposed to. This was the first time, I’ve had a major attack that was caused by stress. It took me a couple days, as I was finally recovering, to piece it all together.
My ex-husband is up to his same old tricks. I, of course, legally get copies of his nonsense (long story). I know I have come so far from the shell of the battered woman, that left New York, via Greyhound, at 5:00 a.m., almost nineteen years ago.
Yet, reading slanderous lies, defaming accusations and making himself out to have changed, slammed by stress level so hard, you’d have thought it was a Nascar vehicle hitting a wall at top speed.
Reading how that monster is accusing me of stalking him because I stated relevant facts or that he isn’t the same person he was 20 years ago, made my stomach crawl. Beating a women in the face with a brick for $50 (less than a decade ago), having your ex-fiancee putting a restraining order out on you, stealing your kids paychecks and giving them an allowance from that; nope, not the same man he was 20 years ago…WORSE! I correct my legal name (removing his) and he took the opportunity to add his name in parentheses every time he wrote my name (real mature there).
I’ve spent days in agony because of this attack. I know his lies aren’t real yet they cut me to the bone as if I was being gutted like a deer by a hunter. My life was put on hold because of an illness I can’t control.
Almost two decades later, he thinks he’s been wronged. He lost control of me (his perception) and he has vowed to ruin me financially. While the physical abuse may have stopped, he’s quite adept in mental abuse. He’s truly clueless; as are most abusers who see nothing wrong with their actions.
I accept this is my cross to bear for the next year and a half. I just wish some of the pain would diminish. I’ve moved on; sadly, he hasn’t.