Tomorrow will mark 10 years since my father passed away. In the last two weeks, I have remembered the loss of my sister and mother. I have lost three family members; all in the month of June. All by the time I was 41 years old.
Mortality is in the forefront of my mind. It’s hard to ignore it. All three of them had cancer, two were defeated by it and one passed, due to illness complications. So, yes, wondering if I will meet an early demise, in June (no less), brings up lots of questions.
I didn’t have the best relationship with my father, but my sister’s and mother’s deaths hit me hard and their angelversaries elicit uncontrollable emotions. There are specific things that I remember about each of them.
- Recovering Alcoholic
- Sports fan (Mets/Giants)
- Friend to Chuck
- Unable to show love to his family
- Hard Worker
- Horrible Cook
- Loyal friend
- Loved the outdoors
- Dedicated mother
- Couldn’t cook rice (LOL to the family)
Gets me to thinking how, or even if, my children will remember me. There’s history that hasn’t been discussed on this blog. My youngest child will be the affected the most. I can’t say the other children will be that upset or even care. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but I am not ignorant to my reality either.
What will my friends think of me? Will I have a large attendance at my funeral? Probably not. I can’t see that. I’ve done a lot of personal reflection. I am planning the details of my funeral. I never want to have to put someone through that.
Death is inevitable. I choose not to fear it. I believe God has chosen my path. It certainly hasn’t been an easy road to follow, but I will continue on it until I am called home.