My oncologist was nice enough to respond to a message I sent her office yesterday with, “what happened to the oncologist we referred you to”? While I am not a fan of this doctor, there are literally no other doctors in the area that won’t cause me to lose at least half a day, if not a whole day from work, for each appointment. She might as well have asked, “why are still part of my practice”?
Seems cancer wasn’t done messing with my life. The other day, I received a message from my youngest sister’s best friend. She found me through Facebook and sent me a private message. I haven’t spoken to my sister in over four years. Seems my sister was diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer. It’s the same strain that took my other sister’s life. The same sister this page honors (or tries to).
I’m not sure where our relationship is headed. I was beyond hurt by her actions several years ago and firmly believe she was in the wrong. I may not have been right, but I wasn’t allowed to see if I was or not.
That being said, we exchanged some messages. She learned of my cancer. I never told anyone who wasn’t in my life. I didn’t want pity and I didn’t want them to care out of obligation. I’m lucky I didn’t wear make up when I found out, because I did shed some tears.
I then thought I still have a chance of still getting breast cancer. Having done battle with my current diagnosis, I’m not sure I could handle another one. Then, my thoughts moved to that of my 12-year old daughter and granddaughter. They would need to be tested in their 20s because of the family history. I pray a cure is found before that needs to happen. Am I holding my breath for that to happen? Absolutely not. I know cancer is a money maker for Big Pharma and the doctors who treat it. They don’t want a cure because then they will lose billions of dollars with their poisonous drugs; all in the name of “treatment”.
While I keep saying I’m going to drink, I probably won’t. Don’t need a hangover and try to get up for work. I’m emotionally numb to this latest cancer revelation. On the flip side, I have no tolerance for the medical world now. I am done being nice. I will not be placated. I advised my oncologist’s office of my sister’s diagnosis. Silly me thought they would know ‘kid gloves’ were now needed in dealing with me. They are truly clueless.
As my youngest daughter has dubbed me, “NY Mommy” when I deal with anyone in the medical profession, I have chosen to embrace that term. I no longer feel obligated to put up with medical nonsense. I am in charge. They either will understand this the easy way, or they will kick me out of the practice because they chose the hard way. At this point in my life, I really don’t care either way.
I realize this isn’t Christ-like behavior. However, I’m so overwhelmed lately, this is all I can manage. I pray for grace and the ability to handle this situation better. If it comes to pass, then it’s His will. Til then, NY Mommy is in the house!
This is the reality of a cancer patient. Pretty ribbons are nice, they have meaning, but it’s not the true showing of what cancer patients go through. That’s what these blog posts are about.
I’m still adding my fundraiser link because I have still have expensive testing/scans that need to take place. Any monies above that, I will donate to my sister because she’s feeling the crushing expenses of having a cancer diagnosis.