Tomorrow I meet a new oncologist. I had to call to confirm my appointment, as I hadn’t received a reminder call. The woman laughed it off that she hadn’t sent out any reminders. That’s all well and good, however, I’m traveling 30 minutes out of my way and losing a half a day’s work, so I don’t have the luxury to hope everything is still on schedule.
I have been re-reading my previous oncologist’s visit comments. They still have not fixed the part where my sister died of breast cancer at 37; not 47. They have only been told three times now. They make me seem like a bitch for refusing IV chemo because it’s the treatment they would have preferred. My original oncologist said outright they could not confirm I did or didn’t still have cancer. They were going to treat me as if I did; just in case. Silly me for wanting a definitive answer and to have a somewhat normal life with such vague information from a “professional”.
They villianized me for refusing tests that exposed me to additional radiation without a legitimate cause. I also had stated that tests need to be coordinated that required IVs. My veins rolls and collapse, but they don’t consider that when they schedule tests.
I am not holding out much hope for tomorrow’s visit. We will have to go through all the questions that have been already answered and are in my file. It’s too much to ask for doctor’s to read before meeting a new patient. Wasting time is the preferred interaction method.
I know she will order more blood work. Let’s hope my veins cooperate. Who knows if she will order the CT scan that I believe should have been done already. A point my previous oncologist and I did not see eye to eye on.
My anxiety is messing with my sleep again. I just need this appointment to be over. Then I get to wait to see if my levels are elevated (which would indicate the cancer is still there). Waiting games suck; moreso when your very existence is on the line.
No matter what happens, cancer still sucks!