Considering I started my blog for a way of dealing with the loss of my sister…definitely thought this was worth a share!
Did you know that the majority of people who have lost a loved one are made to feel guilty about their grief?
Did you know that someone grieving often isolates themselves, disconnects from people, because they feel misunderstood?
Unfortunately, a loved one left behind will often suffer in silence because they have been told:
It’s time to move on.
Aren’t you over this yet?
You need to stop dwelling on this.
It’s been long enough, it’s time to let go.
Aren’t you ready to get on with your life yet?
Or, some of my favorites:
He’s in a better place.
Time heals all wounds.
God needed another angel.
Everything happens for a reason.
Although, some of these things are said with the best of intentions, let me make this clear, they just aren’t helpful! At all!
We didn’t lose something that can be replaced. We lost a person. For…
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Last night as I was drifting off to sleep, I reminded myself to wish my sister a Happy Birthday in the morning. When I awoke, I had a “Hangout” (Google’s version of “chat”) message from a friend, who I originally met through my sister.
He was sweet enough to let me know he was thinking of my family today, as it’s my sister’s birthday. I cried. I wasn’t prepared to see that anyone else had remembered or that they would reach out to me before I mentioned it. My sister, as much of a pain in the ass that she could be (as only her sister would know), truly touched the lives of many people. It’s a great way to be remembered.
Her death was one of the reasons I stopped using my other Facebook page, which had a lot of military affiliations on it. In fact, I didn’t use Facebook for several months. It was no longer important. Kathi was such a supporter of our vets and gave me such support while I supported active duty, it just didn’t seem right to continue on. I couldn’t face her friends, whom I’d had become friends with. It wasn’t the same without her; it still isn’t.
Par for the course, it just hit me how I coped today. I couldn’t bring myself to do much of anything but sleep for the majority of this morning and afternoon. I did some chores and saw my family off for the evening. Everyone is gone from the house now, and it’s just me. There’s not a whole lot on television tonight, so I was browsing Netflix. I came across “Merlin”. Sure, why not? I’m not super into fantasy, but I’ve always liked that which surrounded Merlin and Camelot.
Cleaning up the kitchen, I smiled. Kathi LOVED fantasy. She was big into fairies, Lord of the Rings, Dungeons and Dragons, etc. I’m no longer watching tv, but I am leaving the show on. That’s our bond for tonight: the Fantasy realm.
Happy Birthday, Sis!
Photo by Pixaby
“Every human being must find his own way to cope with severe loss, and the only job of a true friend is to facilitate whatever method he chooses.” (Caleb Carr)
“We may get knocked down on the outside, but the key to living in victory is to learn to how to get up on the inside.” (Joel Osteen)