It’s an eye-opening experience when you take a moment to evaluate what you want from life. Over the last few years, my life has changed more than I would have ever imagined. I know life isn’t fair, bad things happen to good people, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, it will get better….yada yada yada.
At this point in my life, my youngest daughter is everything to me. She’s the one who’s still at home with me and my world revolves around her. When I was transitioning my daughter from homeschooling to small, private school, I checked with my boss, who said I could bring her to the office before and after school.
She is a good kid, sits and watches tv (yes our office has that in a large break room). Doesn’t bother anyone. She used to sit in an unoccupied office prior to that. One of the owners said, she could watch tv; if she wanted to.
Lately, the main owner has been fixed on some issues that are not the most pressing in the company. After 30 years of business, and eight months into the year, he wants to change things, see details that take meticulous calculations to obtain and doesn’t understand how the information is calculated. Unfortunately, I am wrapped up in this data mess, as I administer part of what he is complaining about.
While I only lend my opinion, based on my experience, I do not make any final decisions. However, apparently, because I’m involved, I’m now “public enemy number one” in the eyes of the owner of the company. Now, my daughter is no longer allowed to watch tv for the two hours after school, while I finish my work day. I will add, my work has not been negatively affected with my daughter at work. If anything, I have been working even more to quell the mighty giant who would rather slay me than listen to reason about how his business practices have brought him to the current mess we are cleaning up. When he chooses to punish me, by taking it out on my daughter, we have a problem.
That being said, the entire situation has caused me to re-evaluate my position within the company. While I make a decent salary, I am underpaid for all that I do. My daughter’s education and happiness are paramount. I realize, no matter what they claim my position is, I’m a glorified paper pusher. I am great at my job, so I don’t let that discourage me.
Yet, through all of this, I have realized, the job I thought I would probably have for the next decade or so, isn’t the job for me. I want to be more available for my daughter. I want more memories of us. I still have to make money; sadly. My family still expects to eat, daily, with the lights on, have hot water, clothes, etc…..so I continue to work in the hostile environment of my job.
I told my friends yesterday, I want to go back to wedding planning. I want to be my own boss. I enjoy making people happy by working behind the scenes so their special day is full of memories that will make them smile for a lifetime to come.
I enjoy doing walk venue walk-throughs. Making notes of what will or won’t work for a particular client, attending the wedding rehearsal, ordering dishes, making sure the banquet room tables are set just right. That the chairs gently “kiss” the tablecloth and aren’t pushed all the way in. I like making sure the bar is set and ready for when the guests arrive for the cocktail hour, following a timeline. All the details that the average person doesn’t realize that have to happen to pull off a successful event; is what I enjoy doing.
Over the next year, I will work some freelance events, maybe do some day of coordination for ceremonies and work at building my business so I can work for myself, this time next year. That’s the goal!
I am currently looking for another job that I can keep my daughter in her present school. If we have to change schools or return to homeschooling, so be it. Her education and happiness are important and I am over pleasing a male chauvinist who views my job as a necessary evil of having to do business.
Look out Bay Area and Sacramento, a new wedding planning business is on the horizon!