fighting

All posts tagged fighting

Sitting in Judgement

Published October 4, 2018 by lynn k scott

I reactivated my old Facebook account.  I knew better…but, I did it anyway.

I have a very hard time with Pinktober.  It has nothing to do with raising awareness for breast cancer.  It has to do with a large number of organizations and companies cashing in on cancer.  Losing my middle sister to breast cancer and knowing my younger sister is fighting the same strain has made me more vocal.  To some, I’m jaded.

People need to understand there is not equal medical treatment, insurance or affordability nationwide.  That being said, I DO NOT agree to universal health care.  I am merely pointing out what I know as fact in California.

I will not tolerate “breast cancer awareness cookies”.  Making cookies in the shapes of obnoxious looking boobs or making them looked squished (like a mammogram would do) is not ok in my book.

Now, I worked full-time through my chemo treatments.  I was out of work a total of two weeks and that was to have the tumor removed.  I still worked, every day; from the hospital and at home.  I could not afford to live on disability.  Reluctantly, I had to start a gofundme account to pay for chemo.  I couldn’t afford it on my own.  I deleted the account after my last chemo payment was made.  Oh wait…most people don’t know my husband was out of work for two months last winter; and was taken by ambulance and hospitalized.  Nothing like more financial strain….

As you know, I recently had to purchase another vehicle.  I chose a sports car.  I was upside down on my trade, I had horrible credit.  The fact I was financed was nothing more than a miracle.  My car looks nice, but in reality, it’s the same price as a Honda.  I figure, I’ve lost so much to such a horrible disease, have been through hell this last year, it’s time to live.  At this point, I do not know if I live to finish making the car payments.  That’s MY reality.

Yet, someone still felt the need to sit in judgement of me.  Saying my car is too nice.  Those mods I’ve done are expensive.  Well, my husband has a challenger five years older than mine.  He did a lot of the work and had spare parts.  He’s also been doing show cars for over 25 years and has a lot of industry friends.  We don’t pay full price for anything.  I also work two jobs.  That’s right.  I have had cancer for a year, been off chemo for six months and picked up my second job three months after finishing chemo.

I was basically called a scam artist for having two separate parts of my life judged as the same; chemo payments and car payments.  What gives anyone the right?!

Am I jaded about the medical industry – DAMN RIGHT I AM!  I also have good reason.  I have not been shy about what I have gone through.  I do not have great care.  I am not a good patient and have been punished for that.  I have been punished for demanding that doctors and their staff allow me to be in control of my body and treatment.

I can’t stop anyone from judging me, but I’ll be damned if I am to keep quiet on the medical world’s shortcomings or the scams of Pinktober.  Just because it’s pink or coming from a charity, does not mean their intentions are good or the true patients are receiving anywhere near what is being collected.

If you are God, you may judge me.  If not…a little empathy and allowing me to vent won’t kill you.  But by hell or high water, you are not entitled to judge me (or anyone else; for that matter)!

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NO Soliciting

Published June 14, 2018 by lynn k scott

In today’s age of technology, going door to door offering services should be a thing of the past. Yet, businesses still engage this privacy-violating act on a regular basis.

It’s a fact many people don’t like confrontation and have a more difficult time saying ‘no’ to someone in person than over the phone or on the internet. However, it’s reached a point that those people who are going door to door are ignoring a very basic sign, found on many homes: No Soliciting

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I arrived in California and my first job here was selling products door to door. That was 21-years ago and times have definitely changed. I was actually instructed to ignore the ‘No Soliciting’ signs. Just because someone isn’t selling an exact item, it doesn’t excuse them from being a solicitor. Are they taking up the person’s time? Then, they are soliciting time; if nothing else.

What seems to elude companies that utilize this tactic is there are some very legitimate reasons to respect someone’s privacy; esp. on their own property:

  • Sleep habits – Perhaps someone works evenings, perhaps a child is napping
  • Illness – Having had cancer and know the exhausting effects of chemotherapy. Not everyone wants to answer the door. If they are resting, it’s rude to disrupt them.
  • Animals – Not all animals react well to people knocking on their door or ringing the bell.

I have two dogs. I have notices posted for delivery personnel not to ring the bell. I have another notice as you walk up to the house to STOP; unless you’re a first responder. Everyone who’s invited to my home knows to call or text me when they arrive because I greet them at the door so as to not set my dogs off. That one act is the only reason they fight.

Yesterday, I had to break up a dog fight because someone could’t read (or ignored it).  After I got the dogs separated, I stepped outside, embraced my NY roots and laid into the clipboard-holding person who thought my signage wasn’t legit.  He never got a word in edgewise. I’m sure the entire neighborhood heard me kick him off my porch and I can almost guarantee, he’ll never be back.  It was completely avoidable, but he chose to think he was an exception.

More companies need to realize this is not a legitimate form of sales, fundraising, political reasoning, religious outreach, etc.  If you insist on using this old-fashioned form of contact, please instill in those in your service that are not to disturb those homes who have clearly noted they are not to be disturbed. You’re intentions may be good, but privacy trumps profit, in this case.

I’m a horrible neighbor!

Published March 4, 2017 by lynn k scott

It’s really a matter of who you’re speaking to.  Where I live there’s a local, online community board.  People can post garage sales, issues in the neighborhoods (or surrounding areas), criminal activity, etc.

I currently live in a small city.  We have fenced in backyards, driveways, etc.  We’re not directly on top of each other, but it’s definitely not the wide-open country either.  That being said, I raised an issue of cats being left outside at night.

My point of posting was because either cats are mating and/or fighting.  They are waking up my German Shepherd mix, who feels the need to alert everyone in the house of the noise outside, whether it be next door, down the street or off in the distance.

Once I am awoken, then I am awake; normally several hours at a time.  The days of “putting the cat out” are over.  I pointed out, we don’t live in the country, and part of being a responsible cat (or any pet) owner is keeping control of your pet at all times.

You’d have thought I said I was going to lace my backyard with rat poison and kill those blasted creatures.  Quite the contrary.  Granted, I despise loosing sleep because people are being irresponsible.  I also hate that while I am not the best gardener, I don’t appreciate the neighborhood cats trying to use my garden as a little box either.  So my post had a dual purpose.

Is it really so awful to ask people to be courteous; respectful?  If you want your animals to have a lot more freedom to roam, then I suggest moving to a country setting where you have that capability.  When living within city limits, where there are laws about this type of thing (silly me knowing that), it’s not out of bounds for people to take care of their pets, furbabies, and four-legged friends.

So, yes, to half my neighborhood, I am a horrible, neighbor.  I want to sleep, so I can get up and safely drive my daughter to school, go to work and just function through the day. What was I thinking?!

Song: Belleau Wood

Published December 3, 2015 by lynn k scott

I credit my sister for introducing me to the singing of Garth Brooks.  While the introduction started, with “Papa Loves Mama”, my appreciation and enjoyment of Garth’s music has grown substantially over the years.  I admit, I wasn’t always a country fan, but there are a lot of good songs out there.

This time three years ago, my sister asked me to post this song to her Facebook account.  She was in the hospital and having trouble posting it. It was a job I did for her when her illness prevented her from doing so.

I had never heard the song “Belleau Wood” by Garth Brooks.  It’s still hard to listen to it, without getting misty-eyed, because it’s such a reminder of my sister, her unwaivering love for our military and our bond.  Every year, I listen to this song, just like I would “Silent Night” or any other Christmas song.

The song recounts a Christmas truce in 1914.  Some will argue its validity. Regardless of whether the truce actually took place, it’s something to believe in.  That our enemies aren’t as different as we’d like to believe.   That we share a commonality with our fellow man.  There was temporarily “peace on Earth”; more precisely in Belleau Wood.

“I Got Flowers Today”

Published November 18, 2015 by lynn k scott

I first saw this poem, many years ago.  I admit it’s been some times since I’ve seen it since.  This afternoon, I saw a friend had posted it on Facebook.  It reminded me of when I was the battered wife.  When I had a messed up life.  This is a pretty good illustration of why it’s called the “Cycle of Violence”.   Silence is its deadly friend.  Speaking-out is key to its end.

He gave me flowers

I got flowers today. It wasn’t my birthday or any other special day. We had our first argument last night and he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me. I know that he is sorry and didn’t mean to say the things he said – because he sent me flowers today.I got flowers today. It wasn’t our anniversary or any other special day. Last night he threw me into a wall and then started to choke me. It seemed like a nightmare but you wake up from nightmares to find that they aren’t real. I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.I know he must be sorry – because he sent me flowers today.I got flowers today. And it wasn’t Valentines Day or any other special day. Last night he beat me and threatened to kill me. Makeup and long sleeves didn’t hide the cuts and bruises this time.I couldn’t go to work because I didn’t want anyone to know. But I know he is sorry – because he sent me flowers today.I got flowers today and it wasn’t Mother’s Day or any other special day. Last night he beat me again and it was much worse than all the other times. If I leave him what will I do? How will I take care of the kids? What about money? I’m afraid of him and too scared to leave him! But he must be sorry – because he sent me flowers today.I got flowers today. Today was a very special day. It was the day of my funeral. Last night he finally killed me. I was beaten to death.If only I would have gathered enough courage and strength to leave him.So I got flowers today – for the very last time.

~Author Unknown

 

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