I had to share this blog from “That Anxious Mom”. I laughed out loud reading this one and prompted me to write up a short blog. Please, never stop sharing your daily lives. ~Lynn
Kids are so weird. Baby Girl often changes her name depending on what she’s interested in and wants us to call her that. She has been Charlotte, Wilbur, Marshall, Lucy, Elastigirl…it does not stop. Sometimes she’ll keep the name for days or weeks. (Like the time she wanted to be called “Miguel” and insisted on […]
I just want to thank you all for sharing your kids and their antics with me (ok, with everyone who reads your blogs).
As a mom of five, I can empathize with a lot of what you are going through. I can also be very grateful that most of your stories are now behind me. Granted, I’m heading into my last set of teen years, but the little one stories are behind me.
Some days, I’m feeling completely out of sorts and reading how your children are driving you and/or their siblings to distraction with their every day perspective is wonderful. It’s just the pick-me-up I need.
So again, thank you and please keep sharing. One day, you’ll look back on all your posts and show them to your kids’ future boyfriends/girlfriends or just take a stroll down memory lane. You’ll be glad you documented all that they said and did.
This is from my (then) five-year old lil miss (she’s almost 13 now).
These are two separate conversations. In the second one, her brother was on leave and spending his two weeks with us.
Lil Miss: Mommy I’m never going to get a job.
Me: How will you get money then?
Lil Miss: Have garage sales
Me: ummm smh lol
James is brushing his teeth with the water on. The lil miss tells her brother that wasting water is wrong.
I tell her, “it’s ok”. She tells him, “James…Mommy said you are wasting water and it’s not ok.”
Umm….no Mommy didn’t LOL
This conversation took place six years ago. I can’t imagine what teen years are going to be like when my daughter was only 6 when she said this….
Lil Miss: Walks in and says, “I need a beer.”
Me: Raises eyebrow
Lil Miss: “Oh…for Daddy.”
Me: Lmao…sounded so odd..considering she told me earlier she was done being a goody-goody and was going to be a baddy-baddy from now on.
I was listening to K-Love, my favorite Christian radio station, on my way to work, when they brought up a new study. “Experts” are saying that the authoritative parenting style should be replaced with parents who negotiate with their child(ren).
I was relieved to hear callers to the station completely disagreeing. One caller even said, “parenting is directing children and negotiations are for hostages”. I thought that was brilliant. The woman happened to be a school teacher and expressed how she let her students know their future bosses wouldn’t tolerate them wanting to negotiate everything they were told to do.
It’s not surprising the “experts” are spouting this nonsense. In today’s world, where even the youngest child gets a say, feelings can’t be hurt, high school students dictate what they will and won’t do, and college students are causing chaos, it’s a sign the authoritative parenting style has fallen by the wayside.
While I my tween daughter and I discuss issues as they arise, there are certain instances when she is to do as she is told; when she’s told to do it. My house isn’t a democracy; I am in charge. Kids are still learning how to become productive members of society. they don’t have all the answers to make informed decisions on their own. I don’t want to get up and go to work everyday, but I do. I don’t always agree with my boss, but I still complete the assigned work. When I was in college, I did the assignments that the professors handed out, because they were in charge during class time.
Our job as parents is to show our children right from wrong. Everything they do is not up for debate. It’s ok to tell a child “no”. In fact, they need to hear it. It’s ok to put limits on who they hang out with, that they have to tell you where they are going, to monitor their schoolwork and to listen to you without backtalk and/or arguing. Boundaries are important and it’s something that must be instilled in every child or they morph into today’s “entitled” adults.
Don’t get me wrong, the older a child gets, there is room for them to have more discussions with you. If they have a valid point, that might influence or change your decision, then by all means, do so. But there comes a point when they just need to accept the fact they need to follow instructions and they will not get their way.
So, excuse me experts, there is nothing wrong with the authoritarian parenting style. Perhaps if more parents were committed to teaching proper behavior, that not everyone can be a winner and respect for their fellow man/woman, then we wouldn’t have young adults needing safe spaces or acting like a spoiled toddler throwing hissy fits on their college campus because their feelings were hurt because they heard something they didn’t agree with. Today’s entitled kids are products of a non-authoritarian environment. I’m not an expert, by an means, but I sure as hell will not have my daughter turning out like the majority of today’s teens and 20-somethings.
I created this post, “And the Oscar Goes To…” a little over a year ago. I felt like sharing it with all the parents of teens (and tweens). We’ve got to support each other. So unless you’ve been “repelled”, you’re doing a good job with your kids and their cell phone.
I’m a mom to five kids. Four of them are 21+. Two of them have kids of their own. They are from my first marriage. Their father was extremely abusive and our separation/divorce was less than amicable. For years, my children and I didn’t speak often; if at all. One of my sons still refuses to speak to me. I pray that will one day change. I cannot control his emotions or feelings; but everything happens for a reason.
On the flip side, I have a pretty good relationship with my oldest. My youngest son and I have reconnected and are building a great relationship. My oldest daughter still lives with her dad, so we only speak via email, because her father and I have nothing to do with each other; ever.
I can’t begin to describe how I love receiving texts from my oldest telling me how is day is going. Showing me pictures of mulching a flower bed. He sends me pics of my granddaughter in various aspects of her world. Heck, he even surprised me last year by showing up, with his family in tow, and stayed for three weeks. If you don’t have grandchildren yet, holding your grandchild for the first time is a feeling beyond expression.
No matter how old your kids get, they will always be your babies. They will already pull on your heart strings. Sometimes it hurts to hear (or see) the pain life can cause them. Sometimes just being a sounding board is all you can do. While it sucks to feel helpless, it’s comforting you have reached the stage where they want to include you in their lives again.
So, if your parents are still alive (sadly, mine aren’t), give them a call; even if it’s just to say ‘hi’. Send them a text. Until you have grown children of your own, you have no idea how those simple acts will be cherished.