“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.” (Walter Anderson)
June will be arriving in a week. It’s the one month I wish would be eradicated from the calendar. I have to make sure to celebrate a birthday and have the lil one do something special for Father’s Day. In the midst of that, I hope not to be too morbid with my blogging. I can’t say for sure how much of an online presence I will have in June. I will definitely have a post on the 13th and 25th, but not sure to what extent.
If you’ve been following the blog or if you’ve read the About section, then you will have an understanding about June. Here is my breakdown of June:
- 6/1 – Birthday (not mine)
- 6/12 – My sister Kathi’s 3rd angel-versary of losing her battle with breast cancer at age 37
- 6/16 – Regretting marry my ex (who still is a plague-like the locust in Egypt-in my life)
- 6/16 – Angel-versary of my son’s namesake – killed on my 3rd wedding anniversary
- 6/21 – Father’s Day
- 6/25 – My mother’s 2nd angel-versay of her passing suddenly (less than 24 hours’ notice)
- 6/28 – My father’s 5th angel-versary of losing his battle with stage-4 stomach cancer
While I miss my mother, I’m able to accept her death much easier than losing my younger sister. This past year, I have made achievements. I started this blog, allowed a few people from my old Facebook page back into my life (where I previously excluded everyone), I returned to the Blue Star Moms (just last month), I became co-captain for my own Relay for Life Team and I’ve returned to church (found a very small one that I can go to).
I still haven’t managed to throw away a jar of Oil of Olay face lotion or cleanser my sister sent me over three years ago. One stays in the corner of the shower, the other in a drawer in my dresser. My sister’s phone number is still in my contact list. I have kept all her emails. I haven’t progressed enough to address these issues. Perhaps in time; perhaps not.
I will say, losing a sister and mother in the course of two years really gives you a perspective on what’s important in life. It also showed me who fragile and precious life is and how quickly it can be taken from you. Always remember to cherish those who mean the most to you. More importantly, let them know how important they are to you. The gift of life is priceless. Sadly, the cost can’t be measured until it’s gone.