sister

All posts tagged sister

Goodbye, Calvin

Published January 12, 2016 by lynn k scott

My sister and I loved Calvin and Hobbes when we were growing up.  I think my sister could relate to him a bit more because she could have been the female version of this unique, trouble-finding, imaginative, creative child.  I know she had my mother at her wits-end more times than I could count.

Every time I read the following Calvin story, I my eyes seem to leak.  It’s too personal, I suppose.  Calvin grew up and left just like my sister did.  The care-free days of childhood antics behind us when we became adults.  I, like Hobbes, was able to say one final good-bye.

calvin

 

“Calvin? Calvin, sweetheart?”
In the darkness Calvin heard the sound of Susie, his wife of fifty-three years. Calvin struggled to open his eyes. God, he was so tired and it took so much strength. Slowly, light replaced the darkness, and soon vision followed. At the foot of his bed stood his wife. Calvin wet his dry lips and spoke hoarsely, “Did… did you…. find him?”
“Yes dear,” Susie said smiling sadly, “He was in the attic.”
Susie reached into her big purse and brought out a soft, old, orange tiger doll. Calvin could not help but laugh. It had been so long. Too long.
“I washed him for you,” Susie said, her voice cracking a little as she laid the stuffed tiger next to her husband.
“Thank you, Susie.” Calvin said.
A few moments passed as Calvin just laid on his hospital bed, his head turned to the side, staring at the old toy with nostalgia.
“Dear,” Calvin said finally. “Would you mind leaving me alone with Hobbes for a while? I would like to catch up with him.”
“All right,” Susie said. “I’ll get something to eat in the cafeteria. I’ll be back soon.”
Susie kissed her husband on the forehead and turned to leave. With sudden but gentle strength Calvin stopped her. Lovingly he pulled his wife in and gave her a passionate kiss on the lips. “I love you,” he said.
“And I love you,” said Susie.
Susie turned and left. Calvin saw tears streaming from her face as she went out the door.
Calvin then turned to face his oldest and dearest friend. “Hello Hobbes. It’s been a long time hasn’t it old pal?”
Hobbes was no longer a stuffed doll but the big furry old tiger Calvin had always remembered. “It sure has, Calvin.” said Hobbes.
“You… haven’t changed a bit.” Calvin smiled.
“You’ve changed a lot.” Hobbes said sadly.
Calvin laughed, “Really? I haven’t noticed at all.”
There was a long pause. The sound of a clock ticking away the seconds rang throughout the sterile hospital room.
“So… you married Susie Derkins.” Hobbes said, finally smiling. “I knew you always like her.”
“Shut up!” Calvin said, his smile bigger than ever.
“Tell me everything I missed. I’d love to hear what you’ve been up to!” Hobbes said, excited.
And so Calvin told him everything. He told him about how he and Susie fell in love in high school and had married after graduating from college, about his three kids and four grandkids, how he turned Spaceman Spiff into one of the most popular sci-fi novels of the decade, and so on. After he told Hobbes all this there was another pregnant pause.
“You know… I visited you in the attic a bunch of times.” Calvin said.
“I know.”
“But I couldn’t see you. All I saw was a stuffed animal.” Calvin voice was breaking and tears of regret started welling up in his eyes.
“You grew up old buddy.” said Hobbes.
Calvin broke down and sobbed, hugging his best friend. “I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry I broke my promise! I promised I wouldn’t grow up and that we’d be together forever!!”
Hobbes stroke the Calvin’s hair, or what little was left of it. “But you didn’t.”
“What do you mean?”
“We were always together… in our dreams.”
“We were?”
“We were.”
“Hobbes?”
“Yeah, old buddy?”
“I’m so glad I got to see you like this… one last time…”
“Me too, Calvin. Me too.”
“Sweetheart?” Susie voice came from outside the door.
“Yes dear?” Calvin replied.
“Can I come in?” Susie asked.
“Just a minute.”
Calvin turned to face Hobbes one last time. “Goodbye Hobbes. Thanks… for everything…”
“No, thank you Calvin.” Hobbes said.
Calvin turned back to the door and said, “You can come in now.”
Susie came in and said, “Look who’s come to visit you.”
Calvin’s children and grandchildren followed Susie into Calvin’s room. The youngest grandchild ran past the rest of them and hugged Calvin in a hard, excited hug. “Grandpa!!” screamed the child in delight.
“Francis!” cried Calvin’s daughter, “Be gentle with your grandfather.”
Calvin’s daughter turned to her dad. “I’m sorry, Daddy. Francis never seems to behave these days. He just runs around making a mess and coming up with strange stories.”
Calvin laughed and said, “Well now! That sound just like me when I was his age.”
Calvin and his family chatted some more until a nurse said, “Sorry, but visiting hours are almost up.”
Calvin’s beloved family said good bye and promised to visit tommorrow. As they turned to leave Calvin said, “Francis. Come here for a second.”
Francis came over to his grandfather’s side, “What is it Gramps?”
Calvin reached over to the stuffed tiger on his bedside and and held him out shakily to his grandson, who looked exactly as he did so many years ago. “This is Hobbes. He was my best friend when I was your age. I want you to have him.”
“He’s just a stuffed tiger.” Francis said, eyebrows raised.
Calvin laughed, “Well, let me tell you a secret.”
Francis leaned closer to Calvin. Calvin whispered, “If you catch him in a tiger trap using a tuna sandwich as bait he will turn into a real tiger.”
Francis gasped in delighted awe. Calvin continued, “Not only that he will be your best friend forever.”
“Wow! Thanks grandpa!” Francis said, hugging his grandpa tightly again.
“Francis! We need to go now!” Calvin’s daughter called.
“Okay!” Francis shouted back.
“Take good care of him.” Calvin said.
“I will.” Francis said before running off after the rest of the family.
Calvin laid on his back and stared at the ceiling. The time to go was close. He could feel it in his soul. Calvin tried to remember a quote he read in a book once. It said something about death being the next great adventure or something like that. He eyelids grew heavy and his breathing slowed. As he went deeper into his final sleep he heard Hobbes, as if he was right next to him at his bedside. “I’ll take care of him, Calvin…”
Calvin took his first step toward one more adventure and breathed his last with a grin on his face.

{originally found on Reddit and was posted by samuraitiger19}

A “Pink” Facelift

Published January 8, 2016 by lynn k scott

 

I’m done updating the “face” of the Pink Herald.  I went from a plain pink background, to a glittery pink background and then changed it up completely.

green trees

While I have edited the pics, these background and the header shots were actually taken by my sister at the Kaaterskill Falls.  She loved going there and these photos would be the last ones she’d ever take.  I am lucky to have access to them.

her mountain

She loved the falls, being in nature and all its simplistic beauty.  I thought my page could use a little of all that.  I think it ties her to the page just a bit more now.

creek bed

For those of you who knew the “old” background, do you like the new one?

Yea or Nay?

another cricket

(Not sure where this pic was taken)

 

 

 

Has it really been a year?

Published November 2, 2015 by lynn k scott

I was standing at the sink, cleaning up after tonight’s dinner and realized that it will be a year, this month, that I created the Pink Herald blog.  I never expected over 150 followers, to my somewhat sporadic writing.  I never expected to find such comfort and peace in sharing my random tid-bits.  Let’s not forget how much cheaper blogging is to therapy.  While, at times, I have sat at the kitchen table, tears streaming down my face as I told my stories, it’s been such a blessing.

Even though my life is still somewhat chaotic, I am more content and comforted by how this past year has played out. While my only surviving sister and I have cut ties, I am ok with it.  I have rejoined the local Blue Star Mothers chapter and even was elected back to the board as Vice President.  My lil miss and I found a local homeschool group that was so supportive and enlightening.  We’re still part of that group, even though we recently made the decision to send my daughter to a private, Christian school.  She’s LOVING it by the way.

I have found a church to call home.  I am now assisting them in the social media realm and have recently been asked to take over the bi-weekly newsletter, while a fellow church member is recovering from cancer.  I was honored to be asked.

We got new neighbors and they are a breath of fresh air.  They are outgoing, kind and we’re becoming good friends.  Our girls all get along and I feel safe with my daughter playing at their house.  I never worry when she’s there.  Folks just aren’t that neighborly in cities anymore.  I miss that and I’m glad we have the opportunity to get to know each other.

My proudest accomplishment this year is the birth of The Kathi Cares Program; in my sister’s honor.  If you missed what the program is about, you can read all about it here. Since coming up with idea and sharing it, a local massage therapist has offered to give gift certificates for the cancer patients.  My close and very inspirational friend, has already donated $25 and I can purchase my first gift card for this December’s recipient.  I even have a PayPal account established in order to help secure donations.  I will work to grow this program into an inspiring, community-based, non-profit.

I have read some truly wonderful, funny, tearful blogs in the last year.  I thank all those who take the time to put their thoughts into words.  I appreciate those who find my blog worthy of following.

Here’s to another adventures year, while tip-tapping on my laptop to put my my brain dictates what shall be in written form.

Happy Birthday, Sis

Published August 30, 2015 by lynn k scott

Last night as I was drifting off to sleep, I reminded myself to wish my sister a Happy Birthday in the morning.  When I awoke, I had a “Hangout” (Google’s version of “chat”) message from a friend, who I originally met through my sister.

He was sweet enough to let me know he was thinking of my family today, as it’s my sister’s birthday.  I cried.  I wasn’t prepared to see that anyone else had remembered or that they would reach out to me before I mentioned it.  My sister, as much of a pain in the ass that she could be (as only her sister would know), truly touched the lives of many people.  It’s a great way to be remembered.

Her death was one of the reasons I stopped using my other Facebook page, which had a lot of military affiliations on it.  In fact, I didn’t use Facebook for several months.  It was no longer important.  Kathi was such a supporter of our vets and gave me such support while I supported active duty, it just didn’t seem right to continue on.  I couldn’t face her friends, whom I’d had become friends with.  It wasn’t the same without her; it still isn’t.

Par for the course, it just hit me how I coped today.  I couldn’t bring myself to do much of anything but sleep for the majority of this morning and afternoon. I did some chores and saw my family off for the evening. Everyone is gone from the house now, and it’s just me.  There’s not a whole lot on television tonight, so I was browsing Netflix.  I came across “Merlin”.  Sure, why not?  I’m not super into fantasy, but I’ve always liked that which surrounded Merlin and Camelot.

Cleaning up the kitchen, I smiled.  Kathi LOVED fantasy.  She was big into fairies, Lord of the Rings, Dungeons and Dragons, etc.  I’m no longer watching tv, but I am leaving the show on.  That’s our bond for tonight:  the Fantasy realm.

Happy Birthday, Sis!

fantasy-735265__180

Photo by Pixaby

It’s been 3 Years

Published June 12, 2015 by lynn k scott

Today marks the third anniversary of my sister losing her breast cancer battle.  I apologize for not keeping up the blog.   This week has been a bit intense.  I have been consumed with canning and preparing fresh meals.

I realized yesterday, I deal with Kathi’s passing differently as the years go by.  The first year, I just cried.  I kept reading old emails and texts from her.  Last year I remembered her through the music she enjoyed.  This year, it was canning and cooking. I’ve only been canning a little over three years now.  One of the last conversations Kathi and I had, before the cancer took a turn for the worse, was how she was going to start canning in the summer.  I had sent some of the apple butter, I had canned, back home.  She never made it to summer.

coleslaw

Mayo-Free coleslaw

This week, I have been obsessed with canning and preparing everything fresh. Not sure why it didn’t hit me before last night. I rarely can during the week.  Sometimes, I will process a batch of vegetable stock on a Monday.  I’ve made and canned apricot jam and vegetable stock this week.  Last night I cooked black beans and made a mayo-free coleslaw.

apricot

Apricot Jam

I have purchased potatoes, jalapeno and serrano peppers and blueberries.  I will be making potato salad and some jelly and preserves before the weekend is out.  It’s almost a compulsion to get these things accomplished.   I now know it’s me keeping busy.  I know it’s how I’m coping.

Just long for the day I don’t have survivor’s guilt that I outlived my younger sister.  I long for the day where the sadness isn’t all consuming.  I know there’s no limit on grief.  I know it gets a little easier as time passes.  I know my life has been profoundly changed with her passing.

stock

Vegetable Stock

As today is my sister’s angelversary, I’m attaching my team Relay for Life link.  Together we can end cancer.  Together we can stop cancer so there are no more angelversaries because of this horrible disease.

Relay for Life

Follow us on Facebook:  Team – I’m Going To Love You Through It

June is lurking

Published May 26, 2015 by lynn k scott

June will be arriving in a week.  It’s the one month I wish would be eradicated from the calendar.  I have to make sure to celebrate a birthday and have the lil one do something special for Father’s Day.  In the midst of that, I hope not to be too morbid with my blogging.  I can’t say for sure how much of an online presence I will have in June.  I will definitely have a post on the 13th and 25th, but not sure to what extent.

If you’ve been following the blog or if you’ve read the About section, then you will have an understanding about June.  Here is my breakdown of June:

  • 6/1 – Birthday (not mine)
  • 6/12 – My sister Kathi’s 3rd angel-versary of losing her battle with breast cancer at age 37
  • 6/16 – Regretting marry my ex (who still is a plague-like the locust in Egypt-in my life)
  • 6/16 – Angel-versary of my son’s namesake – killed on my 3rd wedding anniversary
  • 6/21 – Father’s Day
  • 6/25 – My mother’s 2nd angel-versay of her passing suddenly (less than 24 hours’ notice)
  • 6/28 – My father’s 5th angel-versary of losing his battle with stage-4 stomach cancer

While I miss my mother, I’m able to accept her death much easier than losing my younger sister.  This past year, I have made achievements.  I started this blog, allowed a few people from my old Facebook page back into my life (where I previously excluded everyone), I returned to the Blue Star Moms (just last month), I became co-captain for my own Relay for Life Team and I’ve returned to church (found a very small one that I can go to).

I still haven’t managed to throw away a jar of Oil of Olay face lotion or cleanser my sister sent me over three years ago.  One stays in the corner of the shower, the other in a drawer in my dresser.  My sister’s phone number is still in my contact list.  I have kept all her emails.  I haven’t progressed enough to address these issues.  Perhaps in time; perhaps not.

I will say, losing a sister and mother in the course of two years really gives you a perspective on what’s important in life.  It also showed me who fragile and precious life is and how quickly it can be taken from you.  Always remember to cherish those who mean the most to you.  More importantly, let them know how important they are to you.  The gift of life is priceless.  Sadly, the cost can’t be measured until it’s gone.

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